I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
