I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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