Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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