all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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