Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
