just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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