You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
