Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
