no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize