I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
