Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
