She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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