Welp...herpes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
