before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
