sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
