I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
