is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
