Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
