Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
