false alarm. still invincible.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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