dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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