kristin has been a bad kristin
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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