I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
