someone get that fucking seahorse.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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