he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I lost the right to judge tonight
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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