He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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