...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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