butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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