i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
