Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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