More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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