I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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