My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize