So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
