wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
it's great music for shaving your balls
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize