This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
