You don't have asthma, your pregnant
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
