IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
