Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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