he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize