Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just high enough for therapy.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
