i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
