New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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