Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
