i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
