Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just invented taco cereal.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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