I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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