I wish i was in the wii world.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
