They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize