Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize