I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
