question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
