I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
