pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
