I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Someone came in the potted fern
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
