i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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