He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
