The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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