I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize