i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She said her name was "party"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
