You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize